Why Young Adults Are Leaving the Church: 7 Reasons and What We Can Do
- Eljoh Hartzer, MTh
- Jul 29
- 10 min read
Updated: Jul 30
When we read the news and look at the world around us today, it can be tempting to throw our hands up in defeat: 'Young adults are leaving the church! What will happen to the church of tomorrow?'
As someone who grew up in the church, went to seminary, worked in ministry, and is still walking with Jesus daily - and as the final months of my twenties are on the horizon - I think my perspective on the matter of youth and church attendance might surprise you.
What follows is not another doom-and-gloom prophecy about the state of young people and their flimsy faith, but a testimony of witness that God is doing something fresh among this generation, and an invitation for you to partner with what He is already doing.
May you find space here to pause, reflect, and abide.
Vine Creative Studio holds a collection of what I like to call 'encounter tools', resources connecting hearts with Jesus. You're welcome to try one out with my free Workbook on Living as a Wholehearted Follower.
What will happen to the church of tomorrow?
Reading the news and scrolling through your phone mainly leads believers to one place. It's a frustrated stance of overwhelm and hopelessness that echoes the question above: What will happen to the church, the faith, and the youth?
The temptation is there to throw our hands up in the air and give up. Yet in doing so, we will just join the loud voice of doom-and-gloom prophecies out there about the state of young people and their flimsy faith.
Aren't we called to more than that?
"Do not call conspiracy everything this people calls a conspiracy; do not fear what they fear, and do not dread it." - Isaiah 8:12
The church, as the people of God, is called to be a herald of the Kingdom, not an echo of the world. D.J. Bosch said that the church should be a sign that is spoken against - a lighthouse in a world trapped in darkness.
We were never called to be like them.
Young adults are leaving the church
A young adult is someone between the ages of 18 and 35. They are no longer a teenager, yet not completely an adult yet. It is an in-between stage marked by identity exploration, reconsidering norms, and careful decision-making with lasting effects. They are becoming, growing, exploring, and transforming.
There's no denying it. Many young adults are leaving the church. The Barna Group stats reveal that up to 64% of young adults opt out of church attendance, but this number is heavily dependent on context and even church tradition.
Yet one thing is sure: Whole families are leaving the church. This 'exodus' from institutional religion in Christianity is especially concerning young adults. Studies have called them the 'missing generation' - they are missing from the church. I wrote more about the phenomenon of the missing generation here.
Let's explore their reasons for leaving:
Why are young adults leaving the church?
The cultural climate young people live in today is the number one reason why they are leaving the church. Just one generation ago, going to church and being a Christian was the norm in many of these households. Now, you are ostracized for being a person of faith.
Even for someone who wants to stay close to God, doing so comes at a serious personal and social cost.
The reasons why these young believers opt out of church communities could be endless. Some of the most common reasons are listed below as they link to unique facts about the reality of navigating young adulthood.
These reasons for leaving are summarized from the perspective of compassion and hoping to reconcile. They are building toward solutions suggested at the end of this article. Several developmental realities overlap - which, ironically, is a perfect insight into how confusing this stage of life can feel.
Deciding:
As an 18-year-old, they often get to decide about faith and church for the first time. They're no longer forced by parents or dragged along on a Sunday morning. These young adults are also faced with decisions regarding what they believe and where they go to worship. They have many more options of churches to choose from and a sense of consumerism kicks in.
Displaced: Many of them move away from home and have to build new connections - as well as find a new church family, which can be very challenging. Where do you go when all you've ever known is the church you grew up in? Nobody taught young adults how to make good decisions about where to go to church in the new city, new place, or even new country. They're totally displaced.
Doubting: As a young professional, they wrestle with existential questions about their purpose, calling, and vocation in God's plan. The twenties are important years in the spheres of identity and work. Their identity tag as 'Christian' also comes into question as they face the plurality of the modern world - sometimes for the first time (especially in more traditional settings), leading to doubts.
Disappointed: Church spaces are seen as judgmental, closed off, and outdated. Young adults can feel a sense of disappointment that the church where they grew up is suddenly seeming so cold towards them. Many of their friends will proclaim atheism publicly, and in a post-Christian world, being faithful is unpopular. Many are disappointed to find their faith rather flimsy.
Discovering: Many young adults awaken sexually, develop attraction, and have to navigate being in romantic relationships for the first time - This brings up challenges from "I grew up Reformed, you grew up Pentecostal, what will we do now?" to "Do we wait until marriage?" They are also faced with pressure to "identify" and choose a sexual orientation and declare it to the world.
Depressed:
The happy-clappy-Christian-club they were once part of before life became complicated feels like a distant memory. Depression rates are rising in young adults. Others find comfort in excessive alcohol consumption or more hardcore drugs, leading to the rise of young adults in rehab. They don't know an embodied faith or a God that welcomes emotions.
Disconnected: The world they live in is growing more and more disconnected and individualistic. Many young adults are not used to belonging in a group, seeking help from others, and the special flavour of support that a church offers. Even though they have more online connections than ever in history, modern young adults feel totally disconnected from real life.
"We will tell the next generation the praiseworthy deeds of the Lord, his power, and the wonders he has done." - Psalm 78:4
Am I the exception?
It's easy to speak about young adults as though they are simply a statistic or a ministry problem. But behind every percentage is a real person with a story. Mine happens to be one of them.
While my experience is only one among many, it has shaped both my research and my hope for the church.
I grew up in a Jesus-loving family where the grace of God was abundant even in the brokenness and imperfections around. From a young age, I understood that the world is not a good place, but that just a touch from Jesus can restore it all. We went to the big white church every Sunday, and I learned about a loving God in Sunday school from teachers who cared.
After school (to make a long story short), I moved away from my family of origin and experienced some disappointment as I fell through the cracks, away from my church of origin. I attended a handful of other churches in this year in search of a place to call home, until I joined a Christian gap year program with other young adults devoted to God.
After that, I moved again to a University town called Stellenbosch, where I went to seminary and worked in ministry with a small church plant. In these years, it was a harsh contrast between the cold and almost-hostile approach of the traditional theology and church to God versus what I encountered first-hand at the church I worked at.
While I learned about the hopeless case of the 'future of the faith', I attended Bible studies and worship gatherings led by students with a burning passion for the Lord. The little groups multiplied as more and more young adults got curious about meeting God again.
In my master's thesis, I studied exactly what is happening with young adults and church. The young adults I interviewed might not fit perfectly into our boxes of what it means to be a member of a congregation, but they have moved beyond seeing church membership as a defining factor. Their personal relationship with Jesus defines them.
Now, as the final months of my twenties are on the horizon - I think my perspective on the matter of youth and church attendance might surprise you. I'm still walking with Jesus daily and have witnessed God doing something fresh among this generation.
My husband and I have moved again for work, but every new place we move to, I'm delighted to find new communities of faithful followers of Jesus.
In my experience, as a South African church-going young adult, I am not the exception. Young adults are seeking new ways of staying faithful to what it means to be Christian in an ever-changing world.
Yes, some churches have really failed young adults. The church is -unfortunately- a broken people who make mistakes. Young adults today are facing a storm and in many instances, instead of offering them an anchor or a lighthouse, the church has tossed them into the waves to brave it out on their own.
Yet failure is never the end of the story. The church remains God's chosen community for making disciples, and there is still hope for healing, reconciliation, and belonging.
My experience isn't an isolated story. Again and again, I've seen signs that God is quietly at work among young adults—not only here in South Africa, but around the world.
There are unique opportunities for the church to disciple a generation of young adults who seek something solid to hold onto in a sea of change.
How to get young adults to return to church?
We need to take heart and remember that God is not done writing His story yet. He started with Creation, promised a Savior, and He is still building His Kingdom here until it arrives fully. The same God who placed the stars in the sky will not forget a generation. He will not let them slip through His fingers.
I hope this fills you with faith for what God can do (and is probably already doing) in and through the young adults who are missing from your pews. You get to step into what He's doing.
Below are three pastoral and practical responses for church leaders who wish to get young adults to return to church:
"Impress [My commands] on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up." - Deuteronomy 6:7
Most churches don't want to be the 'frozen chosen'. Many pastors struggle with the fact that the kids they saw growing up are no longer there.
Everybody is asking the right question: "How do we get them to return?" but - I feel - they are asking it of the wrong people.
They turn to one another, scratch their heads, and lift their arms in confusion. They fail to notice the young adult standing behind them, wishing for a chance to speak...
Ask questions and invite collaboration LISTEN BEFORE YOU LEAD
Young adults are facing a time of decision-making and doubt. They love getting the agency to be the one choosing. You need to do the work of initiating the conversation, but you will soon realize that they have lots of opinions that they'll happily share once prompted.
Ask them for ideas of how the church can be more welcoming to younger generations, and then give them the job! If the decor bugs them, task them with redesigning. If it's the music, let them bring one song suggestion. Practical steps: Identify one young adult who is no longer attending your church and write a letter, an email, or a message to them (you can pass this along from their parents). Tell them that you notice their absence, you wonder how they're doing, and the church family would love to welcome them back.
Offer an anchor WALK WITH THEM THROUGH TRANSITIONS Consider why they left - Did they move away to University? Did they start a new job? Did they start dating someone? If their circumstances changed, that does not mean their faith did. They might feel a little bit forgotten and disappointed that they seem to be falling through the cracks and nobody cares. The church can help them navigate these changes faithfully by offering them Scriptural authority, a place to belong, and even volunteering opportunities. Practical steps: Identify one young adult who went away because of life changes and write to them. Ask them about the transition, how it's been going, and ask them how the church family can support them in this time of change. Encourage them that God is constant even when things change.
Get online (a little bit) STAY PRESENT BETWEEN SUNDAYS For a disconnected generation, it can be hard to feel like they belong in church. If they are struggling with depression, they might wrestle with feelings like: "I haven't been at church in a month, I probably won't know what's going on and nobody will remember me." One way to ensure they know this is not true is to meet them where they are and speak truth into their situation. And where are they? On their phones... *sigh. A church's social media shouldn't exist to advertise events. It should remind people that they belong. Practical steps: Identify one young adult or youngish adult in your congregation who can head up a church social media presence. You need to, at the very least, be on Google Maps and on one social platform - preferably one that young adults actually use. Just post one quote from the sermon and a photo of a few familiar faces, fostering community connection online.
Young adults are tossed around in a sea of...:
Deciding
Displaced
Doubting
Disappointed
Discovering
Depressed
Disconnected
& the church gets to offer them a safe space where they can bring all of this and find an anchor of peace.
The future of the church has never rested on the strength of one generation. It has always rested on the faithfulness of God. Our calling is not to fear the next generation, but to love them, listen to them, and walk with them as fellow disciples of Jesus.
Young adults are navigating one of the most significant developmental stages of life. Many are leaving church for understandable reasons, yet God is still at work among them. The church's calling is not to panic, but to disciple with compassion, patience, and hope.
"I will pour out my Spirit on all people. Your sons and daughters will prophesy, your old men will dream dreams, your young men will see visions." - Joel 2:28
Where to next?
If you've read this post and feel a beckoning within to go even deeper, you might be interested in the following resources about making disciples of younger generations:
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